*Jumps around*

I love Zouk! Got to know all the Bouncers in there, and even got their numbers! =)

Johnny even made me a paper rose! =)

<3

Went to Zouk after class last night, and the crowd was extremely rowdy. Wendy got really annoyed by the crowd, and almost went after those crazy drunk bitches out to create trouble.

Got to know a ton of guys today, and even had a dance battle with one guy.

Bumped into a polymate, and he battled that dude as well. LOL! And boy can he dance!

He shuffled really well and it was very impressive! =D

And then that fella went on to grind Wendy. Ughs.  I didn't really like it, so I pushed my dance partners away and dragged her to dance with me beside Johnny on the stage. LOL.

Cutecute was supposed to join us, but alas, when he got to the club, we just hopped on the cab home. LOL.

Note to self : Never stay beyond 2 am on Wednesday nights, for their spins reminds me of that Asshole.

Those songs induce unreserved rage and unleashes pent up violence.

Avoid Grenade, Bad Romance, and Marry You, AT ALL COST!

From today onwards, I will work from home!

XD

I'M SUPER HAPPY CAN! I CAN FINALLY WORK AT HOME AT MY OWN TIMING, WITHOUT HAVING TO CAB TO OFFICE EVERY MORNING!

THANKS BOSS!

<3 <3 <3!

=D

Met up with Ron Joshua for dinner and drinks at Wee Nam Kee Chicken rice along Novena! Damn nice!

Haha!

Then I went to his place for drinks, where he mixed 3 different grades of Malibu for me.

<3!

Watched a movie together, then cabbed home.

Super loves friends!

=D

Booking tickets tomorrow with Rara and Neal!

<3

I'm a happy trooper. And I think I'm back in the game. =)

THE STEREOTYPES S0NG

=D

I should work in a dating agency or a club. =)

Socializing in a relaxed environment is my forte! HAHA!

Friday was spent at Zouk after class! Had dinner at the Kopitiam with my Uni mates and Eugene Kor Kor dropped me off at Zouk!

Went to look for Neal and 7 other guys + 7 other girls + RARA + Wendy + Shi Chow! Drank by the bridge, 2 bottles of Chivas Regal!

=D

Bumped into Augustine at WineBar!

Chatted with the ever friendly Bouncers at Zouk! XD

Was entering the club when a brawl ensued and shitloads of people started leaving the club! But it was still extremely crowded at Phuture!

Danced till 4am in the morning, and hung around outside the club till 5am!

Got to know a bunch of 20 year olds, and a 25 year old Melvin. =)

Exchanged some numbers and that was that! =D

Saturday was spent with Wendy, Vivian and Irene at Somerset 313 to shop, before heading down to St James Powerhouse to meet Samson, Lynn, Gwendolyn and Mathew!

Wendy and I wanted to head to Zouk, but Samson offered to give us free entry. =p

Accompanied Wendy home to change and borrowed a top from her before cabbing down to St James!

The sound system in Powerhouse CRASHED half way through and the club emptied by half. Woot! More space for the sober and eager. LOL.

Some idiots started throwing ICE at the DJ. =.=!!

Danced the entire night on the Guy's Podium, cuz the Girl's Podium was full of crazy skimpy bitches. LOL.

Didn't spend a single cent of drinks!! Random guy, Joe, bought me a jug and a Lychee Martini! =)

<3 Lychee Martinis!

Headed home around 4am. Danced till my body and arms ached.

=) I'm crazy, that's why I can dance without Alcohol in a club. LOL!

You take my troubles away...

Amen.

The event I had planned and marketed turned out okay. There's shitloads of room for improvement though.

Saw a girl I'd recognised from Play! Club. Didn't dare make much eye contact with her, just in case... =/

Went to Crystabelle for KTV with my LU mates after work.

Didn't enjoy it much. All those bloody Chinese Love Songs made me extremely emotional and upset.

Couldn't sing anyway, and so just ordered some beer and drank myself numb.

Got home, took a shower. AND I'M WIDE AWAKE.

Knn, I want to sleep but I'm plagued with nightmares. WTF.

I'm not at all happy.

Started drinking in class again with J.X.. King Robert is our best friend.

Went home right after school and went to bed.

J.Q. is a petty boy, and it shows. Telling him things that he doesn't want to hear always result in him giving me a cold shoulder. Ughs.

I'm pretty sick of men asking for companionship, and 'fun'. I know what it means, and it's sick.

I've been hurt once. DEEPLY, and I don't wish to be hurt again. I'm staying clear of all bastards and assholes.

Until I mend my heart back, I'm staying clear of relationships and bitches. I'll hug my bottle of Vodka to bed every night if I must, just to keep the nightmares at bay and grant me some sleep.

I tried sleeping last night after drinking in class, but I didn't have enough to make me sleep soundly.

Woke up every 2 Hours with disturbing thoughts and recollections of that Asshole. I'm irritated and annoyed at myself.

I can't go on rebound, neither can I trust myself to be alone.

*Silent Scream*

I've totally stopped trusting all men, even my closest friends and relatives. sigh.

What now, God?

I would like to get a new tattoo, just to erase the emotional turmoil, but my body has run out of space.

GOD, HELP ME!

Frustrations.

Things hasn't been going smoothly since knowing him, and I need to rebuild my life back.

The part timer I'd hired went MISSING and claimed doing that God's Work has taken a toll on her well being hence her poor performance at work and frequent misdemeanours.

Her excuses reminded me of HIM, using God as an excuse AS WELL, to defend his actions.

Just. Plain. Ridiculous.

I let her go, and cursed under my breathe in class.

It's amazing how much more irresponsible this generation is, as compared to mine. Just a few years younger, but so much more foolish.

It's good that she's gone though, for she reminded me too much of C, friend of Asshole.

Business Stats was a breeze today, even though I thought it would've been tougher, since I haven't touched Probability since PRCS.

Once again, I thank the Maths God. LOL!

Teaching my classmates the concept got a little frustrating, but entertaining as well, since I was explaining Maths in HOKKIEN.

=.=!

"Ji eh times steak, geh ice cream times 0.4 pruss steak and ice cream"

"wu ice cream jiu wu steak, boh ice cream, boh steak!"

LOL.

Bugged J.Q. to meet me for supper after class, and he cabbed down after work to meet me under my block, and we went to Sempang Bedok for Murtabak and Roti John!

Then we took a cab to Downtown East, and took a long walk home. =)

We'll be clubbing together soon!

=D

Took the day off work yesterday. I was emotionally in tatters and physically it showed.

Accompanied Dunman to get her braces done and signed her consent forms for her. The dental clinic at Kembangan, some Pristine Dental Clinic, wasn't very Pristine at all. Their tools were dirty looking, and the pieces put into the patient's mouth were not properly sanitized.

The entire process took us 4 hours, and in between, the Orthodontist yakked away on the phone while wielding the forceps and drills dangerously close to my sister's face.

I HAD to insist on sitting in while she did her work on Dunman's face. I don't wish for a real life re-enactment of Happy Tree Friends on her while under my care.

Brought her out to dinner in Town, and followed her to collect her online purchases from China.

Saw a girl who looked really familiar from my dreams, collecting her clothes as well. She didn't dare look me in the eye, and I wondered why...

Anyway, we had Waraku for dinner and she was just so happy when I paid for dinner. Guess I haven't brought her out for dinner in a long time.

We had Risotto, Curry Rice and our favourite Sesame ice cream. =)

Then it was off to walk around Marina Square and then to Marina Bay Sands. We tried on weird clothes, took some pictures and had fun being silly. We walked through the floating platform, the Helix and then around the Promenade and shops along MBS.

Went into Ode to Art, and looked at some other Art Galleries.

Melancholic Peace.

It's weird, this old, familiar feeling of depression setting in.

I finally knew how the Lunatic felt like when she got screwed over by a man.

Anyway, I saw a new Chinese seafood grill and dim sum restaurant, YU. Asked about the Menu and got their name card.

I'll be making a reservation there soon. =)

Chatted on the phone with J.Q. till 3am and went to bed.

Tears in my eyes over a man not worth my time.

Kylie Minogue - Your Disco Needs You

Your disco, your disco, your disco needs you!
Your disco, your disco, your disco needs you!
Your disco, your disco, your disco needs you!
Your disco, your disco, your disco needs you!

Desperately seeking someone willing to travel
You're lost in conversation and useless at Scrabble
Happiness will never last darkness comes to kick your ass
So lets dance through all our fears
War is over for a bit
The whole world should be moving to your heart
Your lonely heart

Your disco, your disco, your disco needs you!
Your disco, your disco, your disco needs you!

We're sold on vanity but that's so see through (see through)
Take your body to the floor, your disco needs you
From Soho to Singapore, from the mainland to the shore

So lets dance through all our fears
War is over for a bit, you're a slave to the rhythm to your heart
You're a lonely heart

Oooh Oooh Oooh Oooh
Oooh Oooh Oooh Oooh
Oooh Oooh Oooh Oooh
Ah-aaaahhhhhhh
Oooh Oooh Oooh Oooh
Oooh Oooh Oooh Oooh
Oooh Oooh Oooh Oooh
Ah-aaaahhhhhhh

Your disco, your disco, your disco needs you!
Your disco, your disco, your disco needs you!
Your disco, your disco, your disco needs you!
Your disco, your disco, your disco needs you!

Ah-aaaahhhhhhh
So lets dance through all our fears
War is over for a bit, the whole world should be moving to your heart
You're a lonely heart

Your disco, your disco, your disco needs you!
Your disco, your disco, your disco needs you!
Your disco, your disco, your disco needs you!
Your disco, your disco, your disco..

Needs... YOU!

Jason Donovan - When you come back to me (1989)

I believe I can move on.

I just need to find myself back.

I've given too much to him.

He's my washboard. My distiller. And the distillation process must proceed.

I will come out as fine wine. HAHA!

Was chatting with an ex online.

$$ says:
Come on I am not married yet but it is up to you I can't change your mind set
Koh Cui Wen says:
yuhs
engaged already lor
can meet but cant have sex
$$ says:
Why no fun
Koh Cui Wen says:
WTF. YOU ARE ENGAGED

And he went offline after that.

I have no idea what the fuck is wrong with men these days.

YOU ARE ENGAGED!!

A man will never change his spots. No point pinning too much hope on a man and expect him to change for you. Because afterall, a change will never be permanent unless initiated and affected from within.

Anyway, I went running with Uncle Nelson after work today. Drove to East Coast and ran for a good 45 minutes until my feet chaffed and blistered.

I HATE RUNNING!

Went to Grand's for dinner after the run and I felt so darn blessed! =D

I still get to eat Grand's yummilicious food!!

Can you spell stress?

UGHS!

Crunch time!

Zouk-ed yesterday. Got picked up by this cute boy, ADAM. He's in NUS school of Economics. But I don't do boys. LOL. Directed him to Wendy instead. =)

I've come to realize that guys tend to try to have a CONVERSATION with me in the CLUB. While they tend to dance with Wendy.

=.=! C'mon~! I go to a club to dance, not to strike up a conversation. Although I do like an interesting conversation... just NOT in a CLUB.

Screaming and wrestling with the booming remixes in the club, trying to get your point across just won't do!

LOL.

"HI*like a G6, like a G6* WHAT'S YOUR *fly like a G6* NAME?"

Ughs. SPARE ME!

Told him flatly that I'm here to dance and a Club wasn't for casual chit chat / shouting match. LOL.

=)

But it's flattering to know that guys think I'm intelligent... from the looks of it.

heh.

Hired a new girl today. Will be introducing her to the company and her job in a few hour's time.

And then I'll have to assess her and hope she pulls in customers for the upcoming product launch.

Daryl bought REMY MARTIN AND TEQUILA TRUFFLES to class today.

=D

I was feeling kinda down, and in a bad mood. The truffles perked my mood up alot!

XD

Biz stats was kinda fun. I liked it. =)

Johnson was supposed to meet me for revision at SMU, but his knee started hurting.

=/ He has been using his left knee to support the weight of his bumblebee, hence the crack in his cartilage.

He has yet to buy his Glucosamine, and I wonder if he will ever get round to buying it at the pharmacy.

Maybe I should grab a box for him and top up my own supply too. =/

I can't wait for FRIDAY and SATURDAY and SUNDAY~!

=)

Though I have a feeling SUNDAY might bring an unpleasant surprise again.

He always has a way of ruining a happy day. I'm apprehensive.

Dear LORD, please make the days and weeks to come nice, happy and peaceful. I don't think I'm capable of handling so much drama in my life anymore. AMEN!

nar·cis·sism   /ˈnɑrsəˌsɪzɛm/ Show Spelled
[nahr-suh-siz-em]
–noun
1. inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity.
2. Psychoanalysis . erotic gratification derived from admiration of one's own physical or mental attributes, being a normal condition at the infantile level of personality development.


Also, nar·cism  /ˈnɑrsɪzəm/
[nahr-siz-uhm]

No wonder I had to lower myself to his level whenever I tried talking to him.

=I'm still trying to get over it.=



God works in mysterious ways. Heard it on the way home on the radio. Just when I was trying to find a term for his condition. I knew it was Narcism.

But the term, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, finally gave his personality a NAME.

Ugh, whatever.

Check out the narcissistic personality quiz

Went drinking with Surin after class on Friday night. We had 2 bottles of Martel between the 4 of us.

Went to meet W.H. after that near his place, but I was "too high" to hold a conversation with him, so I cabbed home.

Went cycling this afternoon at East Coast Park with my L.U. mates. Had dinner at the food centre, and Strawberry Mousse cake melted by the sun!

We cycled for 2 hours, where we got drenched by the passing shower and dried by the blazing sun. Rinse and Repeat cycle TWICE.

I just realised that I'm SUN BURNT! LOL.

I really need a tan!

Rushed home, showered, changed, and headed down to Bras Basar to meet Feonna, and then it was to Double O for a dance event by Fitness First.

Ughs, it was so FILLED with AUNTIES, the good music couldn't lift my mood up at ALL.

Saw the same uncle who danced with June, last year, when I went there. LOL. He was holding onto the bar counter and dancing alone, while the AUNTIES SCREECHED.

Over heard a gaggle of them comment on how CUTE the UNCLE was. *PUKE*

Granted, he was EXTREMELY FIT, and if he were younger, many young girls would FLOCK to him, but at his AGE, I felt, he was OUT OF PLACE.

This is the second time I've entered Double O, and it sure as hell cemented my opinion of that club.

IT SUCKS.

It used to be fun at the Old Place. Now it just SUCKS.

We had no choice but to RUN HOME when the event ended and the crowd deteriorated into an Indian Dance club cum Senior Citizen Club.

He sent me home, and all I felt when I saw him, was ANGER.

I need a new SHOE RACK with LOCKS!

I need to keep my shoes away from THIEVES!

Bought a new pair of SANDALS from Charles & Keith! $32.80 after 30% discount!

Super matching nails!

Sexy, nice, sandals.

Had a quick dinner of Carl's Junior with Gad, before watching that Lizard Movie, Rango!

I hate lizards. So when the images came on and the characters looked so SCALY, I cringed inside. UGHS.

See, I'm perfectly fine alone!

BIRTHDAY EVENTS!

• 18th March

Birthday Dinner + Party with Irene & Wendy! =))

• 19th March

Birthday Bash by L.U. mates at Resort Worlds Sentosa! We're gonna booze all night long! =D

• 20th March

Probably a quiet dinner at home and loved ones! =) Church, if I'm not too HUNGOVER. HAHAHA!

If you can't fulfill your promise, don't make it. IF you really cared, you would have planned it all...

What's the point of baking a damned cake with me if you'd already BAKED IT A MILLION TIMES WITH OTHER BITCHES?

Geez. Don't ruin my Birthday for me when you've already ruined EVERYTHING ELSE.

3 PAIRS OF HEELS GOT STOLEN.



I'm terribly upset.



My heart, my heels, ripped away from me.



A pair of Clark's.



A pair of Le Pommier, handcrafted in Japan, made of soft lamb skin. $138.



A pair of Purple Furry Heels from Japan. =(



IF you even know me that well, you would know how much it hurts...

CRYSTAL JADE WITH IRENE IS LOVE!

=D

We had DINNER at CRYSTAL JADE!

Shark's Fin, Tilapia and Prawn with Pumpkin rolled in Yolk!

Ee Mian too!

Then we shopped, and had tea at TEADOT.

Super love Rose Potion!

Cute tea mixers to boot! HAHA!

Movie with Gad tomorrow, my fellow SKW! =)

WAS supposed to go for drinks with J.Q. but I was too sleepy from the tea and Wendy needed me!

Missed a dinner with ADRIAAN, the professional golfer, because I was too lazy to cab down to Emerald Hill. =/

It's alright if you don't wish to see me. I can live without you too...

Lunched with Joe, went to AMK Central for Prawn Mee! Super nice!

I wonder if I should dine with ADRIAAN, or go home, nurse a bottle of wine and watch my favourite movie.

HAHA.

=p

Can't decide!

Maybe I should ask Jason out for drinks if he ends work on time today.
=D

I wonder wonder wonder...

Will I be lunching alone today?

What about DINNER?

:-D

RESORT WORLD SENTOSA BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR ALL MARCH BABIES ON 19TH MARCH!

WOOOHOOO~!

I'M LOVING MY UNI BUDDIES!

=D

HAPPINESS!

But I just hope this happiness isn't shortlived. =/

WOO HOO!

Kent drove all the way down from Toh Guan to AMK, where I was working, to bring me out to lunch today!

=D

We went to Lavender for Pig Trotter Vinegar! =D

<3>

A new place for it, and I LOVED IT!

^_^!

Then he sent me back to the office, where I had to get some work done, before going to class!

The Father Figure came to fetch me to school!

Then, it was class! Business Statistics was all Algebra today,and I thank E.T., the MATHS GOD for it! LOL!

Had Lemon Drop Tequila for DINNER, in class, while doing the maths. LOL.

Then after school was BIKE RIDE WITH JOHNSON to SMU, where we did some revision. (I spent 2 hours on the phone with Wendy, analyzing Fabian. LOL.)

Did all my questions, and headed home!

=D

I guess if you never really cared, there's no need for me to hold on anymore...

I chose to love an imperfect man, because I'm willing to accept his flaws. I was willing to work on it.

But one hand can't clap...

BUT PLEASE DO NOT BE MY WASHBOARD!

Work together with me, IF you still cherish this relationship.

But if you're weak and wish to escape responsibility, then I guess you're not mature enough yet.

DAMN IT, I FEEL LIKE A LIFE TRAINER, ALWAYS GUIDING PEOPLE THROUGH THEIR DAMN LIVES.

=(

CHUNKS of me, coming out.

*Cue Bleeding Love*

AGAIN.

I'm fucking Hormonal.

Had a very long talk last night. The words just came to me. And I'm glad that I did it.

I guess being straightforward still works best for me.

Beating round the bush like a pussy just don't work for me.

<3. Thank You Lord.

I'm slowly, but surely learning. AMEN!

Praying for guidance, and asking God to tell me what to say, and how to solve this problem, WORKS.

He will guide, lead, and teach me.

Thank you Lord, for taking away this pain and hurt, to give me the courage to forgive and love again.

I can only pray that you will learn to cherish what is present before you, and not break this heart.

I've realised that anger does wonders. It drives me to reach my potential. But living on anger is short lived and tiring. Doesn't make me a very happy person either. =/

God. Help.

Shouting matches that makes me lose my voice doesn't make the situation in the house any better.

My immunity is too damn low for my own good. And very soon I'll have to completely stop any night activities even though I do LOVE the night.

When all activities wind down and there's peace and quiet when I want some. But most of the time I'm out in a club, busting my ear drums. LOL.

My instincts tells me that I will be getting hurt by him again. And I have to prevent that from happening.

I need someone to keep me company at night. Make me sleep. Or just to stop my thoughts from running away.

=(

Because I know what kind of man I want, and it can't be him.

Emotionally and physically very tired, actually.

My cells have mutated. =/ I would prolly never be able to conceive. LOL.

Oh Lord, I leave it all up to you. Help me get healthy and stop all these bad stuff from happening to me. Guide me, to make wiser decisions. AMEN.

Went to Club Play on Thursday. It was Lesbian Night and Irene Ang was promoting her new movie, Perfect Rivals.

Bumped into HIS cousin, who-is-not-straight. We entered free. =)

Music was nice, but too bad Surin don't dance.

Got to know the bartender, who treat us to shots.

A couple who couldn't drink puked around us. I had to grab her bag and RUN.

Ughs.

3 jugs later, we went home.

He came to fetch me. But frankly I couldn't remember a thing he said. I was Numbed.

Today was Hui Wen's Birthday, and we had dinner at Sakura International Buffet, which was an absolute waste of my money. I don't know why do the location was chosen, since there were NO MUSLIMS in our group!

GAHS!

Had my check up done in the afternoon. My next appointment is in 6 month's time. My immunity is way too low.

Walked around Busgis Street alone, and went to have my nails done at a corner shop. The service wasn't bad, and they made sure the dead skin was removed. Even gave free Quick Dry.

And my nails didn't even chip, although I was quickly out and about. =)

The only fault I could find with them, was their lack of hygiene. They reused dirty towels on other customers and their basin was dirty.

But those were compensated for by washing my feet after removal of dead skin, and after painting my nails.

Got to know the new S.M. Executive for DKSH, and we'll be clubbing together in the coming week. =)

Don't want to go home.

I suppose they thought I'd gone for an abortion.

I'd rather they think that, than to know everything.

They would probably make me sue. Things would get messy.

I'll just stay out everyday. I suppose she was right. I might be angry at myself.

Angry, disappointed, frustrated.

*Self-Destruction.*

Ladies' Night!

I LOVE MY GIRLFRIENDS!

Half of the work day was spent out and about, having a really nice lunch at AMK Central and then Four Season Hotel's Durian Puffs.

Bought some for Irene and Wendy, and gave one to Aunty Joyce, whom we caught at DBS, working hard. LOL.

XD

Then after work it was to meet my darlings to satisfy my pig trotter cravings! <3 <3 Irene and Wendy for accompanying me all the way from Vivo to 333 Bak Kut Teh at Balestier!

We cabbed there and had a 5 hour long dinner! <3 <3

Then on the way home, while I was on the bus, Wendy called! ZOUK ALERT!

Haha! We met Desmond, Wei Xiang and this other guy, and danced!!!

And even before the dance floor warmed up, a random guy tried to pick me up. So we changed numbers and talked.

Gabriel or something.

I think he stole my pocket change. LOSER.

I hate clubbing when it's so packed. I can't dance at all! And some asshole tried to finger me while I was dancing! I felt so disgusted, I kicked him in his groin.

Never dance around ugly assholes! And I'm gonna dance around my FAVOURITE Bouncer all the time from now on.

<3 Zouk Bouncers. Nice, Friendly, and they make sure you get your floor space. =D

Anyway, Phuture wasn't much fun. Cuz half way through the bloody DJ started playing Alt Rock, Coldplay, Green Day and all that rock.

Sigh. Reminded me of him.

When it played, I just felt like curling into a bloody ball to cry. KNS.

Got home around 3am.

The Tormentors opened up my bills at home and confronted me (via text, cuz I'm hardly home when they are awake these days) about my surgery. WTF.

But it's aight. I'll just stay out forever.

It hurts too much to be home.

PLAY! Tonight!

I'm a Carlsberg Merlion.

Accounting made me super freaking nervous. LOL. But I think I'll pass?

We went drinking last night at the coffeeshop near school. Jason, Ricky, Peter and I. Surin and Y.S. didn't drink, but we had fun talking politics.

Didn't make me feel good when they kept talking about the exam paper's question. I mean, it was already over, so why harp on it?

Fuck it and move on!

LOL.

From around 5pm till 10:30pm-ish, we drank around 20 bottles of Carlsberg. On an empty stomach.

Ordered some chicken to munch on, while Surin and I had some zhi char.

Then we went to Ice Cold Beer to drink some more with Richie, until almost 1am.

J and R almost had a bar fight. =/ That made Surin cry.

T'was wedged in the middle. =.=

Broke up the fight, got them to cool off, then headed home round 1am? I don't even remember. LOL.

And then I just kept puking since then.

Haven't been able to keep anything down, and I'm so fucking hungry and dehydrated. =(

AND I STILL SMELL OF BEER IN MY BREATHE.

iSWEAR iWILL never drink EVER again!

I'm so scared of Carlsberg now. LOL. So giddy, the world is spinning. On the cab to work, I even felt like puking, cuz the taxi had way too many air fresheners.

In my giddy state, I counted three in all. Of DIFFERENT FRAGRANCES. WTF.

iFEEL like death.