I'm not as emotionally unstable or upset as you think.

Yes, I'm almost always stressed, but I'm not that upset.

I just need more moolah, and /or good guy to marry me.

Oh yeah~!

Friday night was fun!

And if I quit clubbing, Daryl has to quit smoking! Lol.

I had a weird dream. I dreamt that I wanted to get married and had even arranged everything necessary for it when on the actual day no one bothered to turn up and I was left at the altar with no guests and no groom. Weird feeling. :-/

It's a dream that doesn't even make sense!

Now I'm awake and feeling totally upset.

Fuck you, weird nightmare.

When someone is determined to inflict as much self harm on herself as possible, it is almost impossible to stop her.

The only way for the self inflicted harm to stop, is herself.

It has to come from within.

I've had many pasts, but I've overcome them with  God's Grace.

I've tried my best to help and advice, but as much as I try, if she does not want to help herself, I'm limited.

So much for trying to save her.

With hidden intentions, she craves the attention.
It fascinates her, it makes her feel good.
She wants someone to understand her,
yet not from others.

The man she wants no longer want her.
Stranded, she struggles to deal.

Trying to seem strong, she obviously isn't.
The advice given, not taken.

It will only lead to her self destruction.

我只要一个爱我的人。。。很难吗？

What's love?

What's love?

Answer here

20-11-2011

I'm getting old. I can no longer dance as intensely as before, till the club lights turn on.

I'm better off baking at home. It's much more enjoyable.

Went to Timbre for Duck Pizza, Whiskey and Wine, before walking down to Butter Factory with Cherlyn today.

=D

Got chatted up by a bunch of men.

Flies, Cockroaches and Lizards.

Got to know a teacher by day, Make up Artist by night.

Butter Factory's filled with midgets today. And some hot nerdy guys.

But too bad. They're in a club. Non husband material.

$23 + $2 + $30 + $44 = $99

Spent $100 today.

And that's the average night for a girl in love with the night.

It's only Tuesday. With just cable TV and me. Life without the Tormentors in town is great. I have no need to get out and stay out of the house for nothing.

I'm back to my homey self with self cooked dinner, beer and tv.

Booked the trip to Genting with Lucille, and my sisters.

An all girl's trip. It's excellent.

I need time out from men. And it has been good so far without them.

I've been on a few dates, with an average of one date a week, but no sparks flew and I took no effort to push things.

Taking it slow is good.

Simple satisfaction.

Spent the entire day, from 10am to 5pm in the poly clinic waiting for the doctor and getting vaccinated. Finally took my jab for Cevarix. I hope that will keep me safe from HPV and more cervix cancer cells from developing.

Developed Chronic Sinusitis during the stressful exam period. Required CT scan. My X ray showed signs of abnormalities. :(
Referred to ENT at SGH.

Old knee injury came back. Got referred to the Orthopedic Specialist Clinic also at SGH. I might require knee surgery.

It's a good thing I bought all insurance. LOL. I'm not about to pay through my nose for it. Haven't the money either.

Arms aching so badly...

Met Song Ern today. He had roaming eyes. A sign of disinterest. He made wrong conversations.

X out.

But he treated me to movie and dinner, and was somewhat gentlemanly in that sense. Other than that, ughs.

Would you even understand?

=/

Knee dislocated. Popped it back in. Hurt for a couple days. Now it feels manageable again.

Hair falling off at an alarming rate. I'm going bald soon.

Sinus got Chronic. It's so infected I need a Specialist ASAP. The nasal sprays don't work anymore. Neither do pills and it's combination.

Work is stressful.

It is no longer enjoyable.

Money is always not enough.

Trying so hard...

=(

I enjoy my education. But no one gets it. It just happens that I study smart. And I don't pretend to mug at home all day while refusing to work.

oh God. =(