Chasing peace

I've been making red packet lanterns these past few days, after the mother in law gave me 3 big bags of red packets.

Completed 2 yesterday and gave one to the QB. She liked it. Hung it on the ceiling fan in the living room and it spun slowly in a pretty rotation.  I like the way it spins.
😍

I went for a SG Wifey meet up last Friday and met some of the SG wifeys.

A haggle of woman makes a market. We drank and bitched at Brewerkz and I've never heard so much gossip my whole life.

Lol.

I really need to get out of this depressive mood I've been in for the longest time.

I've really lost my mojo and most days I can't even make myself get out of bed. I'm tempted to delete my WhatsApp and go incognito save for this old blog.

Ugh

When you're so heartbroken

How shattering and painful it is, to be given a death sentence.

To be told that I can never have a child of my own.

The news came as a shock and the impact too great to absorb.

I felt my heart sink. And then sadness. I tried to contain it. Afterall I had a long day before me.

I tried to swallow my sadness. A plate of gnocchi. A hot chocolate. A double chocolate cake. A banana crumble. Truffle fries.

But I just couldn't.

I still had to meet Shirley. She didn't understand my pain. She didn't try to either. I didn't expect her to. Afterall, she has no problems.

But the sorrow ate me up as the news sank in. We went to my parent's place for dinner and while waiting I sat alone and tried to calm myself. I played some Candy Crush. Every swipe I made, the sadness ate me up more. Hot salty tears flowed. And it wouldn't stop.

2 days of crying. And I've settled into this depressive cycle.

Daryl doesn't want to be anywhere near me. He can't handle my sadness. Even with his swollen eyes, he insists on going to work.

Just to avoid me.

It's a New Year!

The past year has not been a very good year for me. With the death of my beloved Grandma, I sank into a deep depression. Overcome with sadness, I lost my motivation.

I stopped working, stopped blogging, stopped interacting and socialising. Going out and meeting people became increasingly hard for me. Most days, I would stay home and craft (beading, cross stitching , blinging items and making miniatures, etc) the entire day.

I became a total recluse. And till this day, I still find it hard to meet up even with old friends and be as carefree as I was.

A heavy distrust and doubt holds me back.

No longer do I trust a person at face value. I seem to over analyse everything during social meetings and doubt the intentions of people.

But then again, maybe I've always been this way.

Anyway, I finally got married and it has been 5 months since we've moved out to live together.

The house has been in a semi state of mess. Because Daryl sees no need to unpack and keep all his purchases immediately and loves throwing it around the house and I do not have a decent work top for my craft projects.

I hate the mess. And I absolutely hate his whining.

I may bitch a lot but I sure as hell don't whine everyday.

ARGH AND I WAS MEANING TO BLOG SOME POSITIVITY.

OK POSITIVE THINGS.

1. WE HAVE A RENT FREE CONDO TO LIVE IN. THANKS TO MY WONDERFUL MOTHER IN LAW WHO IS MORE WONDERFUL THAN MY OWN MOTHER.

2. I AM NOT FORCED TO WORK NOW. SO I AM VERY BLESSED TO BE A TAI TAI. HALLELUJAH THANK YOU LORD FOR FULFILLING MY WISH.

3. I HAVE A NICE BALCONY GARDEN WITH FRESH HERBS OF BASIL, ROSEMARY, SPRING ONIONS, MINT, SCREWPINE, PARSLEY, GREEN BEAN AND TOMATO.

4. I GET TO DO MY MINIATURES AND ASSORTED CRAFT ITEMS DAILY.

5. MY HUSBAND LOVES ME A WHOLE LOT.

6. WE STILL HAVE A CAR. THOUGH WE WILL BE SCRAPING IT IN APRIL. :(

7. WEDDING IS IN MAY AND WE ARE BLESSED!

OK POSITIVE NOTE TO END THIS!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!