CHUNKS of me, coming out.

*Cue Bleeding Love*

AGAIN.

I'm fucking Hormonal.

Had a very long talk last night. The words just came to me. And I'm glad that I did it.

I guess being straightforward still works best for me.

Beating round the bush like a pussy just don't work for me.

<3. Thank You Lord.

I'm slowly, but surely learning. AMEN!

Praying for guidance, and asking God to tell me what to say, and how to solve this problem, WORKS.

He will guide, lead, and teach me.

Thank you Lord, for taking away this pain and hurt, to give me the courage to forgive and love again.

I can only pray that you will learn to cherish what is present before you, and not break this heart.

I've realised that anger does wonders. It drives me to reach my potential. But living on anger is short lived and tiring. Doesn't make me a very happy person either. =/

God. Help.

Shouting matches that makes me lose my voice doesn't make the situation in the house any better.

My immunity is too damn low for my own good. And very soon I'll have to completely stop any night activities even though I do LOVE the night.

When all activities wind down and there's peace and quiet when I want some. But most of the time I'm out in a club, busting my ear drums. LOL.

My instincts tells me that I will be getting hurt by him again. And I have to prevent that from happening.

I need someone to keep me company at night. Make me sleep. Or just to stop my thoughts from running away.

=(

Because I know what kind of man I want, and it can't be him.

Emotionally and physically very tired, actually.

My cells have mutated. =/ I would prolly never be able to conceive. LOL.

Oh Lord, I leave it all up to you. Help me get healthy and stop all these bad stuff from happening to me. Guide me, to make wiser decisions. AMEN.

Went to Club Play on Thursday. It was Lesbian Night and Irene Ang was promoting her new movie, Perfect Rivals.

Bumped into HIS cousin, who-is-not-straight. We entered free. =)

Music was nice, but too bad Surin don't dance.

Got to know the bartender, who treat us to shots.

A couple who couldn't drink puked around us. I had to grab her bag and RUN.

Ughs.

3 jugs later, we went home.

He came to fetch me. But frankly I couldn't remember a thing he said. I was Numbed.

Today was Hui Wen's Birthday, and we had dinner at Sakura International Buffet, which was an absolute waste of my money. I don't know why do the location was chosen, since there were NO MUSLIMS in our group!

GAHS!

Had my check up done in the afternoon. My next appointment is in 6 month's time. My immunity is way too low.

Walked around Busgis Street alone, and went to have my nails done at a corner shop. The service wasn't bad, and they made sure the dead skin was removed. Even gave free Quick Dry.

And my nails didn't even chip, although I was quickly out and about. =)

The only fault I could find with them, was their lack of hygiene. They reused dirty towels on other customers and their basin was dirty.

But those were compensated for by washing my feet after removal of dead skin, and after painting my nails.

Got to know the new S.M. Executive for DKSH, and we'll be clubbing together in the coming week. =)

Don't want to go home.

I suppose they thought I'd gone for an abortion.

I'd rather they think that, than to know everything.

They would probably make me sue. Things would get messy.

I'll just stay out everyday. I suppose she was right. I might be angry at myself.

Angry, disappointed, frustrated.

*Self-Destruction.*

Ladies' Night!

I LOVE MY GIRLFRIENDS!

Half of the work day was spent out and about, having a really nice lunch at AMK Central and then Four Season Hotel's Durian Puffs.

Bought some for Irene and Wendy, and gave one to Aunty Joyce, whom we caught at DBS, working hard. LOL.

XD

Then after work it was to meet my darlings to satisfy my pig trotter cravings! <3 <3 Irene and Wendy for accompanying me all the way from Vivo to 333 Bak Kut Teh at Balestier!

We cabbed there and had a 5 hour long dinner! <3 <3

Then on the way home, while I was on the bus, Wendy called! ZOUK ALERT!

Haha! We met Desmond, Wei Xiang and this other guy, and danced!!!

And even before the dance floor warmed up, a random guy tried to pick me up. So we changed numbers and talked.

Gabriel or something.

I think he stole my pocket change. LOSER.

I hate clubbing when it's so packed. I can't dance at all! And some asshole tried to finger me while I was dancing! I felt so disgusted, I kicked him in his groin.

Never dance around ugly assholes! And I'm gonna dance around my FAVOURITE Bouncer all the time from now on.

<3 Zouk Bouncers. Nice, Friendly, and they make sure you get your floor space. =D

Anyway, Phuture wasn't much fun. Cuz half way through the bloody DJ started playing Alt Rock, Coldplay, Green Day and all that rock.

Sigh. Reminded me of him.

When it played, I just felt like curling into a bloody ball to cry. KNS.

Got home around 3am.

The Tormentors opened up my bills at home and confronted me (via text, cuz I'm hardly home when they are awake these days) about my surgery. WTF.

But it's aight. I'll just stay out forever.

It hurts too much to be home.

PLAY! Tonight!

I'm a Carlsberg Merlion.

Accounting made me super freaking nervous. LOL. But I think I'll pass?

We went drinking last night at the coffeeshop near school. Jason, Ricky, Peter and I. Surin and Y.S. didn't drink, but we had fun talking politics.

Didn't make me feel good when they kept talking about the exam paper's question. I mean, it was already over, so why harp on it?

Fuck it and move on!

LOL.

From around 5pm till 10:30pm-ish, we drank around 20 bottles of Carlsberg. On an empty stomach.

Ordered some chicken to munch on, while Surin and I had some zhi char.

Then we went to Ice Cold Beer to drink some more with Richie, until almost 1am.

J and R almost had a bar fight. =/ That made Surin cry.

T'was wedged in the middle. =.=

Broke up the fight, got them to cool off, then headed home round 1am? I don't even remember. LOL.

And then I just kept puking since then.

Haven't been able to keep anything down, and I'm so fucking hungry and dehydrated. =(

AND I STILL SMELL OF BEER IN MY BREATHE.

iSWEAR iWILL never drink EVER again!

I'm so scared of Carlsberg now. LOL. So giddy, the world is spinning. On the cab to work, I even felt like puking, cuz the taxi had way too many air fresheners.

In my giddy state, I counted three in all. Of DIFFERENT FRAGRANCES. WTF.

iFEEL like death.