This quote summarizes it all.

Marion: It always fascinated me how people go from loving you madly to nothing at all, nothing. It hurts so much. When I feel someone is going to leave me, I have a tendency to break up first before I get to hear the whole thing. Here it is. One more, one less. Another wasted love story. I really love this one. When I think that its over, that I'll never see him again like this... well yes, I'll bump into him, we'll meet our new boyfriend and girlfriend, act as if we had never been together, then we'll slowly think of each other less and less until we forget each other completely. Almost. Always the same for me. Break up, break down. Drunk up, fool around. Meet one guy, then another, fuck around. Forget the one and only. Then after a few months of total emptiness start again to look for true love, desperately look everywhere and after two years of loneliness meet a new love and swear it is the one, until that one is gone as well. There's a moment in life where you can't recover any more from another break-up. And even if this person bugs you sixty percent of the time, well you still can't live without him. And even if he wakes you up every day by sneezing right in your face, well you love his sneezes more than anyone else's kisses.

I saw this movie with Jamez Soh three years ago before he left for Switzerland. He was a very nice guy but I didn't love him. Because I never gave myself a chance, and I felt that I was too young to be with a much older guy.

He lent me tons of books, because at that time, I wanted to write a book. But after eons of procrastination, I stuck to blogging, and never really wrote.

What am I supposed to write about anyway?

Anyway, when he came back, we met up and had a nice dinner at Shin Kushinya, and I remember buying Mini Food at Vivocity.

Some memories don't fade. Because they were so...NICE.

I cried, when I saw this movie. Because this huge chunk of words summarized my relationships then.

Except I never had a break of 2 years. I moved on even quicker than that and went through so many more guys.

I miss this movie. I miss seeing Art Films.

=(

I have come to terms with myself that I will never be able to stop myself from loving him until the day a new distraction comes.

But until then, I will just allow myself to love him, with no hopes of anything happening.

The Social Butterfly has somehow lost all her magical dust and flutter. But I suppose with some partying, she will somehow regain it all back again.

=D

I'm rewatching Closer again, and this time it's another different perspective.

The irony of the situation is so so close to my heart right now. Somehow.

"Hello, Stranger."

It's strange how love or the "imprinting" (Twilight Lingo!) of someone makes one go head over heels.

Nevertheless, I'm glad that I've gone through it and I'm not any worse off.

I'm so looking forward to clubbing with Samson and friends again. =)

He's somehow always there when I need company. Actively seeking.

HAPPY. I like attention.

The last thing I need is for him to screw me over with his words and lead me on.

Woke up in the morning with that ache.

Emotional pain is so hard to handle...

BE SMART.

REALIZE IT WHEN THE OTHER PARTY NO LONGER CARES AND MOVE ON.

Stop. Thoughts.

Move on.

If only there was such a thing as a Doll House. Won't it be nice to experience everything without negative feelings and still get paid?

Went to meet clients today.

Attended an ill planned product training for NAV.

Unmotivated and in pain.

Met the Engineers from Hong Kong and the sub contractors.

We had lunch together before sending them off to the airport.

On the way home, sat on the bus, felt sick.

Puked in the morning, another time at night.

Puke fest.

$1.6k is too little. Tomorrow I will go for an interview for Kelly Services.

But I don't feel like working office hours again.

Until the alcohol wears off, I will be numbed.

Dumped Calvin. He doesn't love me. Never truly did.

All there was, started with L ended with T.

His heart is still with Audrey.

No point.

Cheers to Single-hood, and another adventure.

Lord, I thank you for your guidance and the discernment. Amen.

NUMB THIS PAIN AND NUMB IT GOOD.

A tattoo touch up is in order!