Something inside just doesn't feel right.

I've lost all privacy and I no longer feel safe in the house.

IN fact, I no longer feel safe ANYWHERE.

I've realised that I've become so fucking jumpy, that I find myself unable to sleep at night, and I jump at the slightest sound.

What is wrong with me??

For once I've stopped doing anything deemed 'deplorable' by the Tormentors, yet it's making me feel uneasy.

Insecure, lost and really really queasy.

Why?

It's making me really miserable.

I can't continue being this way. I'll breakdown and kill myself.

Maybe I should kill her first.

P.S: My insides are turning inside out and my cramp has disabled me.

Lord, lift me up and out of this misery.

Though my prayers has never worked. Things prayed about has almost always gotten worst.