After 4 straight days of quarrelling and misunderstandings, we broke up.
His screams and shouts and blabberings bounced off me like soft balls to wall.
It left little marks and it didn't seem to affect me.
I suppose work has drained me and numbed me up. Like anesthesia before the operation. Conscious yet unfeeling.
We left in opposite directions and the nearer I got to home, the anesthesia seemed to wear off and emotions sipped in a little.
7 months didn't seem such a long time with him, and yet I didn't feel very much in love.
(Any idea how it feels like? Let me know.)
I've merely been jumping from one guy to the other, lead by wandering lust and in seek of excitement, and some survival instincts.
>_<
I'VE REALISED THAT ALL I WANTED WAS FOR HIM TO PROTECT ME... from EVERYTHING.
But of course he couldn't. And I kept ending up wearing the pants and going through the same shit I had with all the other guys I've been with.
I think right now I'm fucking tempted to go back to him because of sympathy and the refusal to let go of the past, but I shouldn't. Because I don't think I love him.
Realise I keep thinking, but I don't feel.
WHY??????
I'm in need of a big big hug. Anything to put me back in that purple bubble again.
=(
P.S: Learnt TAN and TBN today!! (something to smile about?)
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Sunday, November 9, 2008
The jaded faded frog.
I'm fucking emo and bloody wary of the people around me.
The frog prince who used to grace clean and green ad campaigns (those who used to see it will know the smiley frog on that damed lilly pad), finally came out of his smelly bin hole.
And he doesn't look as green as he used to.
The years has done him in.
The shrunken, faded, jaded frog.
*sigh*
The frog prince who used to grace clean and green ad campaigns (those who used to see it will know the smiley frog on that damed lilly pad), finally came out of his smelly bin hole.
And he doesn't look as green as he used to.
The years has done him in.
The shrunken, faded, jaded frog.
*sigh*
Saturday, November 8, 2008
I think I no longer like Justin.
Situations have been pushing me towards a direction of apathy and dislike.
Maybe it's the hormones. Or the fact that we've been apart for too long without effective communication.
I don't know... but right now I just feel very apathetic. Too tired to give a damn.
Anyway, I managed to complete all SETA and Crackle tests today and the shift leader was very surprised.
=.=!!
Went out with Wan, Aein, Khalis and Madina after work to celebrate Madina's end of internship in the company.
=p
Had dinner at Bugis' Seoul Garden, and then Wan drove us to Arab street where they smoked Shisha and we played games.
Obviously, I declined to smoke it, and supported Aein to decline the offer as well.
LOL. Khalis was freaking cute!!
We were at Seoul Garden eating right, and he went to take this extremely small portion of Coffee Chicken for himself. LOL, I mean it's nothing wrong, but we were expecting him to like take more to share or try other varieties.
And when we told him to go 'take more', he went on to take a HUGE plate of COFFEE CHICKEN, when we meant to 'take more variety of meat'. LOL.
And he was just super cute when we were playing games la!
LOL.
Cute little boy.
His actions just made our day in the yucky lab!!
=D
Situations have been pushing me towards a direction of apathy and dislike.
Maybe it's the hormones. Or the fact that we've been apart for too long without effective communication.
I don't know... but right now I just feel very apathetic. Too tired to give a damn.
Anyway, I managed to complete all SETA and Crackle tests today and the shift leader was very surprised.
=.=!!
Went out with Wan, Aein, Khalis and Madina after work to celebrate Madina's end of internship in the company.
=p
Had dinner at Bugis' Seoul Garden, and then Wan drove us to Arab street where they smoked Shisha and we played games.
Obviously, I declined to smoke it, and supported Aein to decline the offer as well.
LOL. Khalis was freaking cute!!
We were at Seoul Garden eating right, and he went to take this extremely small portion of Coffee Chicken for himself. LOL, I mean it's nothing wrong, but we were expecting him to like take more to share or try other varieties.
And when we told him to go 'take more', he went on to take a HUGE plate of COFFEE CHICKEN, when we meant to 'take more variety of meat'. LOL.
And he was just super cute when we were playing games la!
LOL.
Cute little boy.
His actions just made our day in the yucky lab!!
=D
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Charred fingers.
Finally, I'm taught something new. But the stupid vacuum used to suck off used oil was poorly insulated and in the end it fucking cooked my finger tips.
Grr.
Anyway, I managed to complete the tests required, so it wasn't so bad.
At least I learnt something new! I can't tolerate being sidelined and put to do the basics while some are allowed to move on and learn new things.
*sigh*
We, interns are so scummy that the company D&D only offered us a chance to join when there were left over space in the cruise. ughness.
Anyway, they asked me as a last resort, I think, and I politely declined, of course, cuz I won't want to mix and mingle too much and end up with some shit for them to hurl at me.
Today alone, I was accused to doing mistakes MADE BY OTHERS TWICE!
>_<
But it's ok. I'll grin and bear it.
Three months and two weeks more to go.
Grr.
Anyway, I managed to complete the tests required, so it wasn't so bad.
At least I learnt something new! I can't tolerate being sidelined and put to do the basics while some are allowed to move on and learn new things.
*sigh*
We, interns are so scummy that the company D&D only offered us a chance to join when there were left over space in the cruise. ughness.
Anyway, they asked me as a last resort, I think, and I politely declined, of course, cuz I won't want to mix and mingle too much and end up with some shit for them to hurl at me.
Today alone, I was accused to doing mistakes MADE BY OTHERS TWICE!
>_<
But it's ok. I'll grin and bear it.
Three months and two weeks more to go.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
BORED phuck
I'm irrevocably bored.
Extremely, Utterly, BORED.
I haven't got any mood to blog either.
Something, SOMEONE, please, intrigue me.
Extremely, Utterly, BORED.
I haven't got any mood to blog either.
Something, SOMEONE, please, intrigue me.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
<3 HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!
WOOHOO~!
HALLOWEEN WAS SO FUCKING FUN!!
TOO BAD I DIDN'T GET TO CLUB ON HALLOWEEN BEFORE!!
I'M SO GONNA CELEBRATE HALLOWEEN FROM NOW ON!
WOOHOO~!
Work on Halloween was boring, because there wasn't much work, and I had to go look for sai gang to do to keep myself occupied and away from sitting around gossiping like the others!
Ugh, they were like sitting in the lab chit chatting loudly while the boss was away, and I was like the only idiot packing samples and cleaning the stupid lab.
grr...
I could've sat around telling tales of my life, but I guess I just wasn't interested in ruining my reputation as the 'player' in the lab unlike others.
LOL.
Anyway, I was so fucking psyched about the AFTERHOURS, that I couldn't just sit still.
=D
M was like fucking late in meeting me, and in the end Justin and I went to rent a room to slack, eat and change and hung around SMU until 10pm before I cabbed down to meet him at Zouk with his friend!
Ughness!!
When we arrived at Zouk, the queue was so fucking long, it was impossible for us to go in!! We queued for like 15 minutes and decided it was better for us to head down to Attica where their friends were.
LOL.
In that 15 minutes of queueing, we got like 10 people asking to take a picture with us!!
Woop~!
Apparently there were hardly anyone dressed up as cops!! And I guess I was kinky enough. LOL.
=.=!
On the way out of Zouk, we saw this group dressed as PAP!! ROFL!!
All white, WITH MISS JAOQUIM ORCHID GARLANDS AND a freaking clipboard!!
They fucking walked and waved at me and I just saluted them. ROFL.
=D
The PAPs were my favourite costume!!
We cabbed down to Attica, and on the way to there, ( we were walking around Clark Quay for a bit), shitloads of people came and asked to take more pictures with us!!
For a moment there, I felt like a tourist's attraction. LOL.
And then the fun parts came!!
We went to Attica and walked to the queue, but then the bouncer came up to us and was lilke, "M'am, sir, you two, GO right in front of the queue." *macho thumb action.*
!!!
I was like, Ooh, okays. LOL.
And then we got to cut the damn queue and entered the club free and easy!!
But his friend went to the loo and got stuck. He wasn't allowed to enter the club and in the end we had to buy a bottle to go in!
LOL. Actually, I didn't pay for the bottle la. LOL.
Free party~!
Danced, danced, dranks shots!!
The three of us finished the whole bottle we bought, and his other friend came and we downed like 6 shots each or something, I can't remember.
It came in a BIG BOWL of Shredded ice with test tubes containing the shots!!
TEST TUBES!!
Yes, I think we drank Test tubes.
Yummilicious fruity shit.
<3
Took shitloads of pitures with strangers and lost our props in the process. LOL.
I lost my furry handcuffs, he lost his wig, and his friend lost his MASK!!
But it wasn't as bad though, cuz I saw credit cards, jackets, and other disemembered monster parts on the floor (tails, wings, and random tentacle limbs). LOL.
We partied till 5am, and kinda gave up finding our things ever, cuz I guess some guys picked our things up and used it as props for a kinky afterparty. LOL.
Handcuffed, masked and wigged.
LOL.
Our party ended at around 5am, and we were sitting outside by the club when this MIDDLE AGED CAUCASIAN AROUND 50?! tried to pick me up. LOL.
Too bad I was too stoned to bother.
And I kinda hate being picked up by Caucasians.
LOL.
Cab fare home was almost $40 cuz I was in a Chrysler. Christ. So fucking expensive! But the seats were comfy and there was music.
I slept in the cab. LOL.
Can't wait for them to send me the pictures!
<3
HALLOWEEN WAS SO FUCKING FUN!!
TOO BAD I DIDN'T GET TO CLUB ON HALLOWEEN BEFORE!!
I'M SO GONNA CELEBRATE HALLOWEEN FROM NOW ON!
WOOHOO~!
Work on Halloween was boring, because there wasn't much work, and I had to go look for sai gang to do to keep myself occupied and away from sitting around gossiping like the others!
Ugh, they were like sitting in the lab chit chatting loudly while the boss was away, and I was like the only idiot packing samples and cleaning the stupid lab.
grr...
I could've sat around telling tales of my life, but I guess I just wasn't interested in ruining my reputation as the 'player' in the lab unlike others.
LOL.
Anyway, I was so fucking psyched about the AFTERHOURS, that I couldn't just sit still.
=D
M was like fucking late in meeting me, and in the end Justin and I went to rent a room to slack, eat and change and hung around SMU until 10pm before I cabbed down to meet him at Zouk with his friend!
Ughness!!
When we arrived at Zouk, the queue was so fucking long, it was impossible for us to go in!! We queued for like 15 minutes and decided it was better for us to head down to Attica where their friends were.
LOL.
In that 15 minutes of queueing, we got like 10 people asking to take a picture with us!!
Woop~!
Apparently there were hardly anyone dressed up as cops!! And I guess I was kinky enough. LOL.
=.=!
On the way out of Zouk, we saw this group dressed as PAP!! ROFL!!
All white, WITH MISS JAOQUIM ORCHID GARLANDS AND a freaking clipboard!!
They fucking walked and waved at me and I just saluted them. ROFL.
=D
The PAPs were my favourite costume!!
We cabbed down to Attica, and on the way to there, ( we were walking around Clark Quay for a bit), shitloads of people came and asked to take more pictures with us!!
For a moment there, I felt like a tourist's attraction. LOL.
And then the fun parts came!!
We went to Attica and walked to the queue, but then the bouncer came up to us and was lilke, "M'am, sir, you two, GO right in front of the queue." *macho thumb action.*
!!!
I was like, Ooh, okays. LOL.
And then we got to cut the damn queue and entered the club free and easy!!
But his friend went to the loo and got stuck. He wasn't allowed to enter the club and in the end we had to buy a bottle to go in!
LOL. Actually, I didn't pay for the bottle la. LOL.
Free party~!
Danced, danced, dranks shots!!
The three of us finished the whole bottle we bought, and his other friend came and we downed like 6 shots each or something, I can't remember.
It came in a BIG BOWL of Shredded ice with test tubes containing the shots!!
TEST TUBES!!
Yes, I think we drank Test tubes.
Yummilicious fruity shit.
<3
Took shitloads of pitures with strangers and lost our props in the process. LOL.
I lost my furry handcuffs, he lost his wig, and his friend lost his MASK!!
But it wasn't as bad though, cuz I saw credit cards, jackets, and other disemembered monster parts on the floor (tails, wings, and random tentacle limbs). LOL.
We partied till 5am, and kinda gave up finding our things ever, cuz I guess some guys picked our things up and used it as props for a kinky afterparty. LOL.
Handcuffed, masked and wigged.
LOL.
Our party ended at around 5am, and we were sitting outside by the club when this MIDDLE AGED CAUCASIAN AROUND 50?! tried to pick me up. LOL.
Too bad I was too stoned to bother.
And I kinda hate being picked up by Caucasians.
LOL.
Cab fare home was almost $40 cuz I was in a Chrysler. Christ. So fucking expensive! But the seats were comfy and there was music.
I slept in the cab. LOL.
Can't wait for them to send me the pictures!
<3
Thursday, October 30, 2008
O.o
Everyone was PMS-y in the lab today.
It was pretty bad.
4 were absent including August, and it got pretty busy in the middle of work.
My stupid machine was PMS-y too, and some people had to come down to get it fixed or something.
In the end I couldn't finish my samples and I feel so damn paranoid about my work.
ARGH!
I just hope the leftovers will be completed by the second shift.
ARGH!
Anyway, we went to Kembangan for dinner today, and we had Thosai, Murtabak and Naan.
The food wasn't very nice this time round and there were leftovers.
*sigh*
Today's all about leftovers.
T_T
*jumbled htouhgts*
It was pretty bad.
4 were absent including August, and it got pretty busy in the middle of work.
My stupid machine was PMS-y too, and some people had to come down to get it fixed or something.
In the end I couldn't finish my samples and I feel so damn paranoid about my work.
ARGH!
I just hope the leftovers will be completed by the second shift.
ARGH!
Anyway, we went to Kembangan for dinner today, and we had Thosai, Murtabak and Naan.
The food wasn't very nice this time round and there were leftovers.
*sigh*
Today's all about leftovers.
T_T
*jumbled htouhgts*
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