Single. (I've got acid and alkaline burns.)

After 4 straight days of quarrelling and misunderstandings, we broke up.

His screams and shouts and blabberings bounced off me like soft balls to wall.

It left little marks and it didn't seem to affect me.

I suppose work has drained me and numbed me up. Like anesthesia before the operation. Conscious yet unfeeling.

We left in opposite directions and the nearer I got to home, the anesthesia seemed to wear off and emotions sipped in a little.

7 months didn't seem such a long time with him, and yet I didn't feel very much in love.
(Any idea how it feels like? Let me know.)

I've merely been jumping from one guy to the other, lead by wandering lust and in seek of excitement, and some survival instincts.

>_<

I'VE REALISED THAT ALL I WANTED WAS FOR HIM TO PROTECT ME... from EVERYTHING.

But of course he couldn't. And I kept ending up wearing the pants and going through the same shit I had with all the other guys I've been with.

I think right now I'm fucking tempted to go back to him because of sympathy and the refusal to let go of the past, but I shouldn't. Because I don't think I love him.

Realise I keep thinking, but I don't feel.

WHY??????

I'm in need of a big big hug. Anything to put me back in that purple bubble again.

=(

P.S: Learnt TAN and TBN today!! (something to smile about?)