Hormonal

I will give myself till the end of the year.

To give it my best shot.

If it goes well, I'll stay.

If things do not get better, and I can't stabilize by then; I suppose it would be wise to leave and cut my losses.

As much as I wish for things to work out, these stress is not improving my health.

PCOS has totally ravaged and fucked up my mind and body from the hormonal imbalance from my body and the pills I've been ordered to take to retune my hormones.

Daryl can see the difference, and the drastic mood changes are hard to handle.

I admit I'm taken aback by my own mood swings too.

I may be naturally pessimistic by environment and upbringing, but this new pessimism and stress has developed into a black cancerous tumour.

Oh Lord, what am I supposed to do?

 I need an outlet for this negativity, a way to drive it away for good.

I feel very weary of my colleagues.

And I'm resentful of the way the upper management push for sales. Like slave drivers, my freedom is restricted, with limited rewards.

The ways of business is out dated, and highly inefficient.

There has to be a better way to do things. But the red tape and restrictions when it comes to advertising is stifling.

Oh Lord, please show me the way my career should go.

Amen.