Karma.

Sometimes I feel that even if I left him, he won't feel anything.

Maybe I should.

But I'll be the one damning myself for leaving yet another relationship. I really want this to work out. I've already ruined the previous one I had.

This one I cannot let it go. I don't know why. Despite his flaws, I'm just DRAWN to him.

Maybe I'm just sick. Maybe in my subconscious, I like the emotional turmoil he drags me through.

But that can't be it.

A nugget to share.

Shirley: Why do guys have so much problems?!

Me: Cuz God created Men first. Prototype 1.0 always has more problems. That's why Women were created. The upgraded versions of Men.

Although deemed superior to females, I'd like to think that the only area of superiority they have is in their flaws. Men are just MORE FLAWED.

*sigh*

I should trust him more. But I'm afraid of getting hurt. Every step forward I take, pulls me back two steps. Because I always find something new.

And that something new isn't good.

I know I should understand him better and be more empathetic. But I can't. Chiefly because what I understand and know about, cannot be condoned!

Because what he had done before, I've done it before.

Perhaps this is what Harrison said.

"Karma."

He often tells me that he wants to be with me. But! He has long stopped telling me that he loves me.

Wanting a person as a possession and not cherishing her isn't the same as loving a person, come what may.

I'm not a toy...